Contiguity
by Ellen-Thalia
Summary: "I guess we were all so focused on surviving the Deathwave that we didn't think about how six people, could spend five years alone together and not drive each other crazy. Each of us is basically a bomb just waiting to go off." A collection of snapshots of life back on the Ark. AU. Canon through 4x12, Clarke made it to the Ark.
1. Day 42

**This idea came to me after 4x12, when I was trying to convince myself that leaving Clarke behind was far too predictable for the writers to actually go through with it. Still, I was intrigued by the idea of our core characters being stuck together in relatively close quarters, and what situations could arise from this.**

 **So this is and AU collection of snapshots of life back on the Ark.**

 **I don't know if I'll continue to add to this, it depends on how inspired I get as I go. No promises.**

 **In this AU Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Monty, Murphy and Emori all made it to the Ark. _Harper and Echo did not make it!_ I have a rough idea of an AU 4x13 to explain how this came about, which I may or may not write and post as a later chapter.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer:The characters and settings depicted in this story are the property of the CW. I own nothing.**

* * *

 _ **Contiguity**_

 _noun_

the state of bordering or being in contact with something.

PSYCHOLOGY

the sequential occurrence or proximity of stimulus and response

* * *

 **Day 42**

We'd been on the Ark for barely over a month and we were already a breath away from killing each other. I guess we were all so focused on surviving the Death-wave that we didn't think about how six people, or even eight, could spend five years without seeing or speaking to another soul and not drive each other crazy. Add to that our less than luxurious lifestyle up here and all the issues we already had with each other… each of us is basically a bomb just waiting to go off. And once one goes, two more are sure to follow. If anyone gets to Emori, Murphy goes off, once he's on the rampage Bellamy and I try to calm him down, sometimes with the help of Monty or Raven, and Murphy can set either of them off without much effort. And then Emori feels like everyone is against Murphy; we soon found out that Emori's protective streak can be quite explosive.

Raven and Monty are constantly bickering over everything that could go wrong on the Ark and how to fix it. At one time this wouldn't have been that big a deal, but losing Jasper and Harper changed Monty, and he has no patience for Raven's moods anymore. We've all lost people, but something about Monty's heartbreak has made me even more protective of him than I used to be, so I'm usually quick to jump to his defence. That's when things get really nasty. We all have our ways of hurting each other, but when Raven is wound up she gets particularly vicious, throwing every bad thing her target has ever done in their face. With me she had the most ammunition. Finn, the bomb on TonDC, Mount Weather, taking Luna's bone marrow, leaving everyone behind after Mount Weather… She knows just how to rip me open and Bellamy knows it, just as he knows how much I beat myself up about every one of those choices every single day. So he's instantly there, telling Raven to back off. If Murphy's up for a fight that's when he'll jump in, just for the hell of it, and usually we all end up turning on him because while the rest of us may have gotten people killed trying to protect our people, Murphy just went on a murder spree so what right does he have to judge? And then Emori jumps in and before we know it six time bombs have detonated, one after the other.

It's exhausting to say the least.

In that month Bellamy and Murphy have acquired multiple new scars because I refuse to waist sutures on their fist fights - when something in engineering inevitably blows up, Raven and Monty will need them.

We've established a routine for the aftermath of these blow ups. Monty is usually the first to walk away, ending up on a viewing deck, staring at the planet that took so much from him, but he still longs to go back to. Raven inevitably finds a machine to tinker with to calm herself down; Murphy and Emori retreat to their compartment for hours, Emori only emerging to ask for supplies if either of them have cuts that need tending. And Bellamy and I, we generally just collapse wherever the fight had happened, leaning on each other just to remind ourselves that we're not alone. Sometimes we sit for hours in silence before one of us will crack a half-hearted joke, or just bump our shoulder into the other, and then we just get up and get on. That or some other disaster will draw our attention.

No one ever apologises. We don't need to; we know that we're all over our issues. Or at least as over them as we're ever going to get, and it's just the confinement dredging them up. So, we have an unspoken agreement that once things have cooled down, all is forgiven and everybody moves on. Still, Bellamy and I know that we need to find something for everyone to do when we're not fixing one of the thousand problems that could kill us, otherwise we won't make it a year stuck together.

Yesterday was our biggest blow up yet. It started with the algae farm malfunctioning, which immediately had everyone on edge because the prospect of starving to death was about as attractive as the Death-wave had been. We all gathered around as Raven and Monty inspected the damage.

"Can you fix it?" Bellamy voiced the worry on all our minds.

"Probably, but I won't know how or how long it will take until I figure out which component caused this mess," Raven muttered.

I looked at Bellamy, hearing the beginnings of frustration in the mechanic's voice. One glance and I saw that he too could sense the tension that would inevitably lead to an explosion and we couldn't afford that now, not when our only food source was in danger of failing.

"Ok," I started, "we'll give you and Monty the space to figure it out. Radio if you need anything, yeah?"

"Probably best, this could take a while," Monty agreed.

I let out a quiet sigh of relief when Murphy nodded and towed Emori out of the room. I followed them with Bellamy at my back and the two of us headed to the command centre, which we'd claimed as our own safe haven. Bellamy's hands twitched slightly, as we went, and I knew he was missing the comforting weight of his rifle. With no one to fight up here and all our threats being of a mechanical nature, I knew he had been feeling useless. We'd spent so long fighting that Bellamy had forgotten he'd been helping us survive far longer than we'd been at war. He didn't realise that he was what was keeping the six of us together. For all the questionable decisions that were thrown in our faces, the others still looked to us as leaders, and the only reason and the only reason I could handle that up here was because Bellamy was keeping _me_ together.

"We're only a month in," he broke the stressed silence between us, "what else is gonna go wrong?"

"Please don't say that," I huffed, causing Bellamy to chuckle and reach for my hand. This was a recent development for us, just taking comfort and strength from the lacing of our fingers, even when one of us wasn't likely to get killed executing some plan or other. I didn't know if I should be reading anything into it or if it was just a testament to how stressful it was trying to keep us all alive on part of a space station. Judging from the knowing looks and subtle innuendos Raven had been sending my way since we'd been up here, she was certainly reading more into it.

"I think we should make some kind of game room," Bellamy announced out of nowhere.

"What?" I laughed. "We're on the brink of starving and you want a ping pong table?"

"Don't be dramatic, Raven will sort the algae farm out, no one's starving," he rolled his eyes and tugged on our joined hands to roll my chair closer to his. "I'm thinking it could help with the fighting. We're six competitive, argumentative people with nothing to do but take stress out on each other, a few games could give us somewhere else to channel the frustration and boredom. Or at least a better place to cool off."

I pondered the idea for a second before nodding. "That could work. It could also give us something else to fight over and make the situation ten times worse…" Bellamy laughed and pulled me against him as exhaustion took over. "But I don't have any better ideas so it's worth a shot."

"We'll survive Clarke," he promised against my hair as I wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning against him so that I was more in his lap than perched on my own chair. "We always do. And so far, we've even managed to do it without killing Murphy."

I laughed and felt the last of the tension leave my body. I was just convincing myself to pull away from the embrace when I felt Bellamy tense beneath me as he swore under his breath.

"What-" I started to ask but as soon as I raised my head I saw the security feed that must have caught his eye. Raven was laying half under a machine, her leg brace nowhere to be seen, trying to reach for her walkie while Murphy was straddling Monty's chest, fists raining down on his face as Emori pulled at her boyfriend's shoulder, trying to stop him. Bellamy and I sprang from our seats and sprinted across the Ark to break it up before some serious damage was done. I could hear Bellamy shouting into his own walkie as we ran but there was no reply.

I didn't even slow down when we got there, I just ran at Murphy, tackling him off my friend and tried to pin him long enough to calm him down.

"Stop it before you kill someone you idiot!" I screamed.

"Well maybe I should!" Murphy hissed.

Shocked, I fumbled in my attempts to restrain him long enough to be shoved backwards, and everything went black.

The first thing I registered when I came to was a dull throbbing in the back of my head. I reached back to feel for the damage and hissed as the movement caused a stinging in my arm. Finally prying my eyes open, I examined myself in the dim light and found that someone had done a lousy job of inserting an IV line, leaving several punctures in my arm to be irritated by the tape that was securing the line. It was only after I critiqued my care that I realised that I shouldn't need an IV line for a simple bump on the head. I pulled myself into a sitting position and looked around the med bay – which was really just a compartment where we kept all of our meagre medical supplies because our actual med bay was down on earth – and saw Bellamy slumped in a chair next to the bed I was laying in. He looked stressed, even in sleep, and I began to worry over what could have happened while I was unconscious.

With another glance around the room I saw that the line in my arm was just a saline drip and there were two empty bags in the trashcan next to my bed, so I assumed I had been unconscious for a while. I felt around the bandages on my head and figured I probably had a concussion, but there didn't seem to be anything more serious going on.

I was reaching out to shake Bellamy awake when the compartment door opened and Raven came in. "You're up," she announced the concern on her features melted into a relieved smile as she saw I was awake. "How are you feeling?"

"Li-" my voice broke and I realised my mouth and throat were as dry as sand paper.

"Hold on, I'll grab you some water." Raven disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a cup.

I choked a little on the first sip, but soon realised how thirsty I was and had to force myself to slow down. "Thanks," I whispered, deciding not to wake Bellamy just yet. "Other than a headache and my arm feeling like a pin cushion, I'm fine.

Raven chuckled. "Yeah, sorry about that. Monty's eye was swollen shut, Bellamy had banished Murphy and Emori to the other side of the Ark and he was freaking out about you not waking up, so you were stuck with me. Turns out I make a lousy doctor."

I laughed a little, ignoring how it enhanced the throbbing in my skull. "I think I should teach you guys a couple of things about health care."

"It's probably in your own best interests that you do."

"How long as I out?" I asked.

"About two days."

My eyes widened. "Two days! What the hell's been going on? Did you fix the algae farm?"

"Seriously? That's your reaction to being unconscious for over forty-eight hours?" 'Did you fix the algae farm?'" She asked incredulously.

"It's kind of an important problem to solve Raven!" I reminded her.

"Oh relax, Monty finished the repairs while I explained to lover boy over there that I couldn't build an MRI without taking the Ark apart," Raven huffed, exasperated.

"What?" I laughed, ignoring the 'lover boy' comment. "He actually asked you to?"

"Yep." She continued as she pushed my legs aside to sit at the end of the bed, "We were all worried when you didn't wake up right away, but Bellamy was pacing and brooding and knocking things over the whole time. Then when it hit the six-hour mark and you still weren't even stirring, he went insane. Just about demanded I build an entire hospital and then tried to break his hand on Murphy's face." I looked back at the man sleeping at my bedside and frowned at the bandages that wrapped his right hand. "Don't think I missed you not arguing the 'lover boy' thing by the way," Raven added and I could hear the sly smirk in her voice.

"I'm concussed," I argued. "Doesn't mean anything. Can you wake him up for me?"

"Sure thing. I'll give you two a minute and go put Murphy out of his misery," she said as she pulled her bad leg over the side of the bed.

"Murphy?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, the guy's all cut up, thinking he might actually have killed you. He didn't even fight back when Bellamy went after him. Who'd have thought little cockroach'd developed a conscience huh?"

I blinked at that, not really surprised that Murphy could feel guilt – he wasn't a complete sociopath – but more that he had shown it.

"Hey, Bellamy wake up."

Bellamy woke with a start, bleary eyes focusing on Raven for a moment until he saw me sitting up and nearly pushed her out of the way to get to me.

"Clarke!" he exhaled in pure relief. His hands skimmed over my arms and hair, as if checking me for any new injuries, before he cupped my face and the tension finally released from his shoulders. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry?" I offered with a small smile, raising my free arm to pull him into a proper hug.

Bellamy chuckled into my hair. "You should be. We're all screwed if we have to figure out a way to survive up here without you."

I half-heartedly smacked his shoulder and pushed him back just enough to see his face. "Stop giving me all the credit. Up here it's Raven's head we need, and you've got the heart covered," a sheepish smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "I'm just along for the ride."

"Now you're just being an idiot." Bellamy pulled away and settled on the edge of the bed, "How are you feeling?"

I squeezed the hand that had somehow ended up in mine. "I'm fine. Itching to get rid of this line," I gestured to the IV, "but I'm ok. What about you? How bad is your hand?" I reached for the bandaged limb as Bellamy tried to swat my hands away.

"It's fine. Raven freaked out and went overboard with the bandages." I began unwrapping his hand to check the damage for myself, tugging him firmly towards me when he tried to pull away again. "Really Clarke, it's just cuts and bruises."

"Hmm," I finally found the last layer of cloth and surmised that one of his fingers was sprained but there was no serious damage. "How's Murphy? If you're this banged up he's got to be suffering a little."

"Emori iced his face. He's fine, Murphy always is."

"And Monty?" I asked, vividly remembering Murphy landing blow after blow as Monty was unable to defend himself.

"Looks like hell, but also fine. I think he might have lost a tooth though." I shot him a disapproving look at the amusement in his tone.

"Did you find out what the fight was about?" I began re-wrapping his hand, strapping his bad finger to its neighbour this time.

"Poor wording of Monty's part and a major over reaction on

Murphy's," Bellamy rolled his eyes, clearly finding the whole situation a little ridiculous. "Emori offered to help with the repairs and Monty said it was a job that needed two hands."

"Ah," I winced sympathetically. "Well did getting my head caved in at least put a stop to it?"

"Yeah," Bellamy scoffed. "But I'd rather you try something else next time."

I laughed and the throbbing in my head intensified. Bellamy frowned at my small moan of pain but I waved him off before he could say anything.

"Just help me get this thing out of my arm. We should get a start on that game room before one of us picks a fight that'll get someone killed."

Bellamy unhooked the drip and helped me patch up my abused arm before pulling me into a tight, almost desperate hug. "I can't lose you Clarke," he mumbled against the top of my head.

"Nobody's losing anybody," I promised, squeezing him just as tightly. "We haven't survived… Well, everything, just to kill each other now." After a few moments, I pulled away, climbed off the bed and tugged him in the direction of the door, ignoring the slight dizziness standing brought on. "C'mon. There's work to do."

"There always is."

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 **Thanks for reading, please leave a review.**

 **Prompts for future chapters are welcome, but I make no promises to fulfil them. You never know though, you might spark an idea.**

* * *

 **I have made some slight alterations to this chapter as it had to be earlier in the group's stay on the Ark in order to fit with the timeline I worked out for some future chapters. No actual plot points have been altered.**


	2. Day 193

**Thank you for all the reviews and the follows/favourites.**

 **Fair warning, this one gets kind of heavy. Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: The characters and settings depicted in this story are the property of the CW. I own nothing.**

* * *

 ** _Contiguity_**

 _noun_

the state of bordering or being in contact with something.

PSYCHOLOGY

the sequential occurrence or proximity of stimulus and response

* * *

 **Day 193**

It took six months for us to really get things running smoothly on the Ring. Sure, there were still problems to fix here and there, but everything we needed to survive was working as it should. For the first time since the 100 landed on Earth I felt like I could relax, and the six of us could just sit and have a conversation like normal people.

It was strange at first, well for me it was, the others had probably had some peaceful moments in Arkadia back when I'd left. But the first time I found myself sat in Bellamy's game room, trying not to laugh as Monty and Murphy accused each other of cheating at some card game when it was clearly Emori who had extra cards up her sleeve, I felt like I'd fallen into somebody else's life.

"Hey," Bellamy nudged my shoulder with his as he dropped onto the sofa next to me. "Stop looking for problems Princess," he smirked.

"Old habit," I laughed softly and swiped the jar of moonshine from his hand. "How are you not waiting for everything to fall apart around us?"

"Oh I am," he shifted and propped his feet on the table, making himself comfortable. "But after everything we've been through, don't you think we deserve to enjoy the peace between disasters?"

I studied him for a moment before I allowed a smile to tug at the corner of my mouth and leaned against his shoulder. "When did you get so smart?"

"Well there's this girl who told me I need to use my head more…" I laughed and leaned further into his side as he lifted his arm to rest around my shoulders. "Just relax Clarke. Soon enough things will go wrong and we'll be forced to fight to survive again. But for right now we get to live, so let's enjoy it while it lasts, ok?"

I took another sip of the moonshine before handing it back to Bellamy. "I think I can handle that."

I closed my eyes and relaxed into Bellamy's side, just taking in the sound of my friends bickering over games and moonshine instead of fighting over the best way to survive. And for the first time in nearly two years, I fell asleep smiling.

A few hours later I awoke to laughter echoing around the small game room, and I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so comfortable.

"Well look who finally woke up," Raven called from the opposite sofa. "Get up. Drink. You're way behind and we're playing a game."

"Game?" I murmured as I pulled myself up, stretching the mussels in my back out as I took in the nearly empty bottle of moonshine on the table.

"Emori decided we need to get to know each other better," Bellamy explained from beside me. He was trying to be subtle about rubbing feeling back into the shoulder I had been using as a pillow, but I caught him and smiled apologetically. "So we each take turns asking a question and everyone answers."

"And every time you answer a question you drink," Murphy added. "Just because Raven and Monty want to get through that entire stash of booze we found by the end of the month."

"Oh, because you put up such a fight about it," Monty slurred.

"Murphy's right though," I pointed out and took a sip from Bellamy's jar. "It's a big stash but it won't last four and a half years and we don't have the rations to make anymore. I for one would like to delay the inevitable whining about it running out for as long as possible."

"Is that your excuse for steeling my drink instead of getting your own?" Bellamy asked with amusement as he took his jar back.

"Maybe," I smirked and went to steel the jar once more, but Bellamy held it up out of my reach. I jutted my lip out in a mock pout until he laughed and handed the drink over.

"Well if you two are done flirting," Raven interjected loudly – we'd learned that her volume went up as her inhibitions went down. "Bellamy it's your turn. Clarke has to drink twice every question to catch up."

Bellamy rolled his eyes but conceded. "What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?"

"Oh that's easy," Raven announced. "Becoming drinking buddies with the guy who shot me and left my crippled," she raised her jar in Murphy's direction and took a healthy swallow.

"I've already apologised for that," Murphy argued, "at least twice. So as you continue to throw it in my face, I'm gonna have to say the stupidest thing I've ever done was not making it a kill shot."

"That was actually probably the smartest thing you've ever done," I pointed out. "If you'd killed Raven we'd all be dead many times over."

"Exactly! I'm awesome, so go float yourself Murphy," Raven exclaimed, spilling her drink over herself as Monty launched into the story of how he and Jasper got arrested.

Over the next few rounds I learned that Murphy's allergic to strawberries, Raven fantasised about zero G sex, Emori doesn't remember the first time she broke the law and Monty is really unimaginative when he's drunk. (He asked our favourite colours. Everyone said green accept for Emori who didn't see the point in favourite colours.)

"Ok, my go!" Emori announced excitedly. She, as it turned out, was quite the giggly drunk. "Let's see, what is… Your biggest regret?"

I immediately tensed and felt Bellamy do the same beside me. All the laughter stopped and the light atmosphere was sucked out of the room.

"Emori," Bellamy cleared his throat, "Most of the people in this room have been forced to do some awful things." My gaze was fixed on my fingernails, but I knew the exact expression on his face: clenched jaw, straight lips, trying not to give anything away, but he could never stop the pain from shining in his eyes. "So that's not a fair question to ask."

The silence stretched and the tension grew as we all waited for somebody to change the subject until I couldn't take it anymore. "I think we need another bottle," I murmured and quickly left the room. Once I was out of earshot I found myself running. I paid no attention to where I was going, and when I finally stopped to catch my breath I found myself on a viewing deck, overlooking the scorched Earth.

I felt him approach rather than heard him. We'd spent so long having to tread quietly in forests and enemy territory that it was second nature by that point. He didn't say anything at first, just stood at my shoulder and watched me watch the Earth.

"Clarke," he began, voice slightly rough, like it always was when he was trying to hold back his feelings."

"It's because of the forest," I cut him off. "Why we all like the colour green, I mean. I remember when you opened the drop ship door for the first time, all I saw was so much green, and it was just so beautiful… Do you think that they'll be any green left when we make it home?"

"I don't know. The forest survived the bombs so maybe," I saw him shrug in the reflection in the glass. "Clarke… we've all done things we regret, you and I more than most, but getting hung up on them isn't going to help anyone. Especially while we're stuck up here. You'll just drive yourself insane."

"That's the thing Bellamy, I've done so many things… Deciding which I regret most should be impossible. Mount Weather, letting the bomb drop on TonDC… Finn. Anyone of those could be my biggest regret, but they're not. I've gone over every one of those choices a thousand times and each time I come to the same conclusion: there was no other choice. Or at least no _better_ choice. Even steeling the bunker and refusing to open the door, there was no good choice. I regret hurting you and pointing a gun at you, but I can't bring myself to regret doing any of it when if I hadn't…" I finally turned to face Bellamy as I finished, "all of our friends would be dead." The tears gathering in my eyes finally fell as I prepared for him to see me as the monster Earth had turned me in to.

"Clarke," he started reaching for my hand, "everything you've done, you did to save people, and you should never regret saving our people. Ok?"

"Bellamy, what kind of person doesn't regret doing those things?"

"Not regretting them is not the same as not feeling guilty for them," he raised his voice, clearly impatient with my refusal to accept his reassurance. "And the guilt you feel for every one of those choices is with you every day. I see it. If you feel guilty then you're not a monster Clarke, but we need to forgive ourselves to stop that guilt from consuming us."

"Forgiveness has never been easy for us," I reminded him.

"No, it hasn't, but you and I always forgive each other when we can't forgive ourselves." Bellamy cupped my face in one hand to make sure I was looking at him. "You're forgiven, Clarke. I forgive you." I nodded my acceptance and buried my face in his chest at the same moment that he pulled me into his arms. "I can live with your biggest regret being pointing a gun at me," he joked against the top of my head.

"That's actually not my biggest regret," I admitted. "A close second maybe, but the biggest," I pulled back just far enough to look him in the eyes, because I needed him to see how much I meant what I was about to say. "My biggest regret is leaving you."

"Clarke we've done this. I forgive you for that too."

I pulled back completely. "You forgave me because you didn't want to be angry at me anymore. I'm not complaining or anything, I don't think I could've taken you being mad at me much longer at the point," I admitted, "but I still need to say this.

"After Mount Weather I ran. I hated myself for what I'd done and I wanted to get as far away from all the reminders, including you." As I spoke the shame and guilt came flooding back, but I met his gaze and pushed on. "I told myself it was ok to leave because they had you. I never thought about the fact that I was leaving you too. I took you for granted Bellamy. You told me I didn't have to deal with what we'd done alone and then I forced you to do exactly that. It's the most selfish thing I've ever done. Despite that you still came to save me. Twice. And I didn't even thank you." I took a breath and reached to lace our fingers together. "So thank you, Bellamy, for always coming to save me. And I am so sorry for abandoning you."

I waited for Bellamy to say something, but he just squeezed my hand and pulled me down, to sit with him on the floor. For a while we just leaned against the wall and watched the Earth.

"It was a month before I realised I was mad at you," Bellamy admitted eventually. "We were out looking for you, and we knew it was going to be the last search party until we got some solid information about where you were. I'd been so worried about you, so when we came back with nothing I just lost it. I Stormed out of the Rover and to my room without even handing my gun in and I started throwing things. It was Gina who found me and calmed me down. Honestly I'd barely even noticed her before that, and then I left her behind to go and help you. She died and you chose Lexa over us."

"Bellamy I'm s-"

"I know Clarke. We're good," he squeezed my hand and smiled weakly. "But you said your piece, let me say mine. I promise we'll still be good." I nodded and let him continue. "So yeah, I stopped being worried after that, you were clearly ok and you'd made your choice, so I let the anger take over. Anger at you and Lexa and the grounders… I felt so angry and guilty that everything that Pike said just seemed to make sense. I knew we were going too far, but I let him convince me that it had to be done.

"And then there you were. When Octavia shoved me through that door I was so happy to see you," he chuckled and I blinked in surprise. "That pissed me off to no end because _you left me behind._ So everything you said after that just fuelled the anger. Maybe if I wasn't so angry I would've listened to you; Lincoln might still be alive…"

"Bellamy you can't think like that."

"I can't help it sometimes." He stared out into space with a faraway look for a few moments, and I knew he was reliving every decision, so I tugged lightly on his arm, to bring him back to the present. "Anyway, when you showed up at the cave with Jasper it was different. Maybe I'd just had the time to get over it, or maybe it was everything that had happened, but when I saw you I wasn't angry anymore. Just relived that I didn't have to do it alone. On the beach, after the fight with O, I lashed out at you, but I wasn't angry anymore. If anything, it just showed me that I needed to let it go, because I couldn't lose both of you."

I shifted my weight to rest against Bellamy's side, practically hugging his arm. "You haven't lost Octavia," I reminded him softly. "She's down there, waiting for you, and she's fine."

"I know," he squeezed my hand. "Thanks."

"You're not going to lose me either."

"And you're not losing me," Bellamy promised, shifting slightly to support my weight more comfortably.

We were quiet after that, just taking comfort from each other's presence, watching the world go by.


	3. Day 272

**_Contiguity_**

 _noun_

the state of bordering or being in contact with something.

PSYCHOLOGY

the sequential occurrence or proximity of stimulus and response

* * *

 **Day 272**

After hours of tossing and turning, I resigned myself to another sleepless night, rolled off my bunk and grabbed a sweatshirt on the way out of my compartment. In the months we'd been back on the Ark, I'd gotten to know the halls better than I ever had in the seventeen years I grew up on this damned space station, because there wasn't really anything to do other than wander around when I couldn't sleep in the dead of night. On this particular night, I ended up walking by the kitchens but stopped when I heard clattering. My first instinct was to reach for a weapon, but I shook the impulse off and reminded myself that there was no way anybody could get onto the Ark. Hell there was nobody out there to get to get on board, so I forced myself to relax and see which of my friends were awake.

"What are you doing?" were the first words I blurted out on seeing Murphy rearranging saucepans on the stove.

Murphy glanced at me over his shoulder before turning back as if there was nothing strange about this situation. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Cooking?" I replied wearily.

"Y'see, I knew that old saying about blondes being dumb didn't apply to you," he smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, which is why I realise how difficult cooking must be when your only ingredient is algae. So what are you doing, Murphy?"

"Come on Clarke, weren't you in charge of rations? You should know that a spice rack survived up here," he pointed to the scattering of jars on the counter beside him. "I do believe you pilfered most of the salt for the med bay. I'm trying to use what's left to make this damn algae taste something like good."

I couldn't help but smile at the frustration in his voice. "Look Murphy," I started as I reached around him to turn the stove off, "We are all sick of the sight of algae, but it's all we've got. Even if you can work some miracle in here to make the stuff taste better, how long will it be until we get sick of choking that down every day? Will that be before or after the spices run out?"

Murphy's shoulders deflated as he turned to face me properly. "We're doomed to the fate of eating this crap for half a decade, so why bother trying. That's what you're saying?"

I placed a hand on each of his shoulders and tried to hold back my amusement at the defeated look on his face. "You'll have the chance to show off your culinary expertise when the algae farm blows up on us and we have to live on our freeze-dried rations until Raven and Monty can fix it. Save our spices for then, or I'll take them all to the med bay. They'd probably be more use there anyway."

"Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who's resigned themselves to our crappy luck continuing," he signed with a small smile. "But as I've started a batch of green sludge soup, you wanna help me finish it? It'll be good to freeze and add to the emergency rations."

"Sure," I smiled. "Though I'm not sure how much help I'll be."

"You can just taste test while you tell me why you're in the kitchen at three am. Don't tell me our fearless leader has been pilfering rations," Murphy raised an eyebrow in mock disapproval. "Scandalous."

"You caught me. I had a burning desire to eat more algae. Because I just can't get enough of the stuff," I replied sarcastically.

He snapped his fingers triumphantly over his pot. "I knew you couldn't be as perfect as the rest of these clowns make out."

That I couldn't help but laugh at. Nobody had been more vocal about my shortcomings than Murphy, after all.

"Seriously though," all the humour was gone from Murphy's voice, replaced with the slightest hint of concern. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I shrugged, blowing gently on the spoonful of soup he held out to me. "Just couldn't sleep."

Murphy looked me up and down briefly before nodding in understanding. "The machine hum is still getting to you."

"I swear it didn't used to be this loud up here," I sighed and fell back against the counter. "How have the rest of you gotten used to it?"

He just shrugged. "I thought it would take Emori longer to be honest, but that girl can sleep though anything. But," he offered me another spoonful, "if it makes you feel any better, I'm not completely used to the noise yet either."

With a thankful smile, I approved the soup and set about searching for the containers to freeze it in. "So is that why you chose to start your experimentation in the middle of the night?"

"That and I'd already tired Emori out…" he trailed off, bouncing his eyebrows in a stupidly suggestive manner.

"Ugh. Too much information," I threw the discarded wooden spoon at him.

"Hey! I know you're jealous Clarke but violence is never the answer," he chided, laughter creeping into his voice.

I huffed a laugh at that. "That's beyond rich coming from you Murphy," I pointed out, referring to his past transgressions.

"That's a low blow Griffin," a towel had somehow appeared in Murphy's hand, along with that devious smirk of his, "and you're gonna pay."

With that he lunged, whipping the towel at me, but I was ready for him and just managed to put the centre table between us before he could reach me.

"Too slow Murphy," I taunted, feeling a grin of my own creep onto my face. "Maybe you've gotten a little too comfortable with life up here."

"Or maybe I'm just going easy on you," he suggested, twirling the towel in preparation for another attack.

"No, that doesn't sound like the John Murphy I know."

"Your right, it doesn't." He propelled himself across the table and I dropped to roll underneath and regained my footing on the other side, without even thinking. "Nice moves Clarke, but you can't run away forever." We remained at a standoff, each of us feigning one way or another until once again Murphy decided to come at me over the table, giving me time to grab the hose from the sink behind me.

"You wouldn't," he accused but started backing up all the same.

"Sounds like a dare to me," I grinned and shot a jet of water straight in Murphy's face.

He stood letting the water drip off his chin in stunned silence before he remembered he was holding a towel. I bit my lip in an attempt to hold back my laughter as he wiped his face.

"I am going to kill you," he told me plainly.

For a moment we were both perfectly still, waiting for the other to move first, until I dove under the table, rolled and was running out of the door before Murphy could react. I could hear him following me. I turned a corner and darted through the next open door before Murphy could catch up. I slowed my pace and cut straight across the viewing deck I'd found myself on, and listened for Murphy. When I ventured into the corridor leading to the sleeping quarters and couldn't hear any other footsteps, I slowed to a walk, thinking I'd lost him. I was mentally debating whether to go back to my room or stop at the game room when a force knocked into me and I found myself pinned to the wall, a damp Murphy at my back.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I grunted.

"Losing me in the same corridor of the as the command centre wasn't your smartest move Clarke," he taunted. "Once I found you on the cameras it didn't take much to figure out you'd end up here."

"Well aren't you quite the criminal mastermind," I grumbled. "You gonna let me go or what?"

"Sure, just as soon as you admit that I beat you and apologise for soaking me." The smug tone in Murphy's voice jump started my pride enough for me to wriggle out of his grip and dart into the game room and put the sofa between us before Murphy recovered.

"Beat me?" I smirked. "You'll never beat me Murphy," I insisted, though I knew there was nowhere left to go, "but I'd be willing to call it a tie and share that bottle of moonshine if you stand down," I offered, gesturing to the bottle on the coffee table between us.

"You know me better than that Clarke, I don't stand down."

"So what?" I challenged. "We're just going to chase each other around the Ark all night? Because I'm not backing down either."

Murphy considered this. "How about instead of chasing each other aimlessly, we say the first to take a drink from that bottle wins both the bottle and the bragging rights?"

I nodded, "Deal."

This time Murphy moved first and dove over his sofa. A well aimed pillow to the face was all that stopped him from reaching the bottle, and gave me time to hurdle my own sofa, but I couldn't reach for the bottle before I was tackled once again. We wrestled each other in the narrow gap between the furniture, both taking turns pinning the other momentarily but unable to maintain the advantage for long. Eventually I pinned him long enough to make a grab for the bottle, but I only managed to knock it off the opposite side of the table. This gave Murphy, with his long arms, the advantage, something he clearly recognised because he instantly found the strength to flip us over, pin my legs with his and both of my wrists in one hand while he reached underneath the table and claimed the bottle. I bucked and wriggled beneath him, trying desperately to free myself before Murphy figured out how to unscrew the cap while the rest of his limbs were occupied with keeping my immobile.

"John?" a confused voice distracted us from our battle. We both looked to see Emori in the doorway, looking between the two of us on the floor.

Murphy loosened his grip as we realised the compromising position we'd found ourselves in. "Emori. This looks bad. I-"

Deciding that playing dirty wasn't dishonourable when playing against Murphy, I took advantage of his distraction, bucked him off of me, swiped the bottle from his grasp and was standing across the room, taking a sip before he even knew what happened.

"I know this probably looks suspicious Emori," I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, "but even if Murphy wasn't in love with you, you're the only person on this damned Ark who would ever go there," I assured her, nodding my head in Murphy's direction before turning to him. "I do believe this means I win Murphy, so I'll be off to bed now. Night." With that I left the game room.

"You're a dirty cheat Clarke!" Murphy shouted after me, finally finding his voice.

"Pretty sure your priority right now should be convincing Emori that you're not," I called back.

When I reached my compartment, I couldn't help but laugh. I collapsed back onto my bed and felt the adrenalin from our sparing begin to fade, and finally manged to fall asleep, making a mental note to thank Murphy in the morning. If Emori didn't kill him of course.

I woke a few hours later, feeling more rested than I had in months, so I took my time showering and dressing for the day. I was about to leave for the command centre when I saw the bottle of moonshine still sat on my dresser. A small smile tugged at my lips and I grabbed the bottle deciding to make a detour. On my way to Murphy and Emori's compartment a noise caught my attention as I passed the game room. I knew the others weren't usually up this early so I let my curiosity lead and poked my head around the door. At the sight of Murphy curled up on the couch, a small twinge of guilt twisted in my stomach as he mumbled uncomfortably in his sleep. A quick glance around the room revealed Bellamy's tablet discarded on an end table, knowing he wouldn't mind me borrowing it, I quickly typed in his password and opened the notepad app.

 _ **Sorry I got you banished to the couch.**_

 _ **Thanks for last night.**_

 _ **C.**_

I sat the bottle on the table, leaned the tablet against it for Murphy to find and left quietly to start my day.


	4. Day 50

**So, season 5 anybody? I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

 **I have three chapters to post for this fic but I won't be posting them all in once go. It'll probably be a week before the next one goes out.**

 **Some of what I write from this point on may be inspired by what season 5 has told us about the six years our characters have spent on the Ark, but mostly it's still just my mind running away with me.**

 **Also, I never intended this to be a shipper fic, or to focus on any one relationship more than the others. But I've kind or ran with the idea of Raven shipping BellamyxClarke while they're up on the Ring. And with Murphy and Clarke's developing friendship, because I just adore them and I am getting really freaking impatient for their reunion on the show. So fair warning, this may become more relationship centred, rather than incident centred, as I'd originally planned. (Knowing how my mind works... That really shouldn't have come as a surprise to me.)**

 ** _Note:_ After writing these new chapters, I sat down to figure out a timeline, based on the show's time frame, what we know about character's ages and birthdays etc. The conclusion I came to was that this chapter would be inconsistent with either the show and chapter one if I'd left everything alone. I liked the problematic part of this chapter too much to change it, so instead I altered Chapter 1. It is now Day 42, instead of Day 97. All the actual content is still the same.**

 **I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. I think the characters may be a little OOC. Especially Monty, but I've already established that he has changed since Praimfaya, so that's my creative licence.**

 **Please leave a review, let me know if this is as OOC as I think it is.**

* * *

 ** _Contiguity_**

 _noun_

the state of bordering or being in contact with something.

o PSYCHOLOGY

the sequential occurrence or proximity of stimulus and response

* * *

 **Day 50**

 _Clarke POV_

The knife I was using really wasn't the best for this particular task, but our people had tried to take anything useful to the ground with them so we were having to make do with what was left on the Ring. Still, I was determined to get this right. I vaguely registered that somebody had entered the room, but all of my concentration was occupied so I didn't react.

"Hey Clarke," Monty announced himself, irritated. "Bellamy's in a mood."

I still didn't acknowledge him – a mood was hardly a crisis.

Monty paused, expecting me to comment, and began to shift his feet. "Err… I was going to ask you to calm him down or something, but you're kind of giving me the silent treatment, and Bellamy's stomping around and snapping at people. I don't think that's a coincidence." Some more shuffling and I saw Monty sit down, in my peripheral vision. "Are you ok? Obviously, you're not ok. Did you guys have a fight? It's been forever since you had a proper fight… It must've been really bad if you're like this…"

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I noticed the worry in Monty's voice, and the uncharacteristic rambling. I even knew that I ought to say something to reassure him, but I was _so_ close to finishing and it was taking all of my focus to keep this crappy knife where I needed it.

"…God Bellamy can be a dick," Monty continued. "What happened? Do you want me to beat him up for you? I mean, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit that there's no way I could beat Bellamy up on my own, but I could at least punch him in the face?"

At this point I was quite amused, so when I finished the card I was working on, I put it on the stack very carefully before starting on the last one, without drawing Monty's attention.

"Or I could ask Murphy to help. With the beating up, not the single punch in the face. I'm not sure when you two became such good friends but you've been bromancing ever since we got up here, so I'm sure Murphy would be game for defending your honour or whatever."

I shook slightly, holding back my laughter, and nearly slipped with the knife. Not wanting to ruin my project, I decided that my fun was over and I needed my quiet focus back.

"I'm fine Monty," I finally spoke, smiling briefly before looking back at my card. "There was no fight, if Bellamy's in a mood just leave him to it."

"Ok… but are you sure you're alright?" he asked, seeming startled by me suddenly speaking.

"Yes Monty. I'm ok, I just need a bit of quiet right now," I assured him, trying to keep the exasperation out of my voice.

With that Monty mumbled his agreement – not completely satisfied – and quietly left the room, just as I finished engraving the ace-of-spades. _Four decks down,_ I thought, placing it neatly on the pile. _Just fifty-two cards to go._ I flexed my fingers a little as I reached for another of the aluminium sheets Raven had given me the previous day, just the right size for playing cards.

 _Monty POV_

Clarke assured me that she was ok, but her smile was gone almost before I registered it and her gaze returned to whatever she was doing with her knife and some scrap metal, just as silent as before.

She didn't seem ok.

Clarke didn't generally sit in silence like this. She didn't ignore people speaking to her (she hadn't even looked at me!) and she didn't just dismiss people for no reason.

"Ok… I'll leave you to it then," I agreed and quietly left the room, looking back a few times to see my friend still hunched over the table, half hiding behind her hair. I hesitated, but ultimately did as Clarke asked and left.

When I got to out make-shift engineering bay I even didn't remember making the decision to seek Raven out, but it made sense. She had made Clarke and Bellamy's relationship her primary entertainment, so if anyone knew what had happened between the two, it would be Raven.

I sat down beside her workspace and tapped my foot anxiously as I waited for Raven to turn off the blow torch.

"What's up?" She asked eventually, discarding her mask.

"What happened with Clarke and Bellamy?" I demanded.

Raven stopped her tinkering and gave me her full attention. "Something's happened?" her eyes lit up with excitement even as her expression became somewhat gutted. "Did they finally screw and I missed it?"

"No!" I shuddered at the mental image she'd created. "Or… Maybe, I don't know! Do you realise how much you sound like a pervert?"

"Oh, gross Monty," she complained. "I didn't mean I actually want to watch them going at it. Just catch them stealing kisses, or sneaking between each other's rooms."

"Well I haven't seen anything like that. Something's wrong, Raven," I insisted, letting worry seem into my voice.

"With Clarke and Bellamy?"

I nodded.

"Wrong how?"

"Bellamy was being a right asshole all morning, so I went to find Clarke…" I told her about my conversation with Clarke - or more like _at_ Clarke – and Raven frowned, thoughtfully. "She was really upset Raven," I continued, "they had to've had some kind of fight. Have you seen anything?"

She just shook her head. "I've not seen Clarke today. I saw Bellamy at breakfast, he was being a jerk then too, but I didn't think much of it. I don't get it though. I saw them together last night, they were all cuddly and even more sickening than usual."

I rolled my eyes at Raven's tone; equal parts disgust and wonderment. The same one she almost always used in regards to our two leaders.

Suddenly she lit up with excitement again, bouncing in her seat. "Maybe they did screw!"

I raised an eyebrow. She really was obsessed.

"No, Monty! It makes sense! If they finally cashed in on all that sexual tension last night, and then afterwards it was awkward or one of them freaked out, isn't his exactly how they would react? Bellamy being an ass, taking it out on everyone else, while Clarke avoids him and anyone who might make her talk about it?"

I had to admit, that did sound like the way they would react to some post-sex awkwardness, I just kind of thought that this 'secret romance' idea was all in Raven's head. Sure, Bellamy and Clarke had been physically closer since we came back to space, but I'd put that down to a combination of the lack of human contact up here and the way that they had always leaned on each other. Could it be more than that? Had the leaning-on-each-other thing always been leading towards more than friendship and… co-leadership – whatever it was that Bellamy and Clarke were?

"Ok…" I finally agreed, "So what do we do about it?"

Raven just shrugged. "Give them a day of two to sort their shit out themselves. If they can't, then we stage an intervention."

"Sounds fun," a new voice interrupted, and I turned to see Murphy and Emori entering the room. "Who are we intervention-ing?" Murphy asked and started rearranging Raven's tools.

"And why do they need an intervention?" Emori finished.

"Clarke and Bellamy had sex," Raven announced. "Now it's weird."

"Well that explains the sulking," Murphy shrugged. "Did Clarke kick him out after or was she just not there in the morning?"

"We don't actually know what happened- I cut in, but was ignored.

"I thought the touch-y, cuddly crap would last way longer than this," Emori mused. "So if Bellamy's moody, how's Clarke reacting?"

"She's upset," I told the new-comers. "She wants to be left alone."

"Should we break Bellamy's face?" Murphy suggested. "If Clarke's upset he must've been a dick about it."

I shook my head, even though that had been my first thought too. "Like Raven said, let's just leave them to sort it out themselves for now. Come on," I stood up and made my way to the door. "Raven was busy. Why don't we test run that game she just finished coding?"

"Yeah," the mechanic agreed, reaching for her mask and torch, "leave me alone. And I expect a full report on that video game when you're done."

We made our way to the game room, if it could even be called that yet. All it actually had in it was a couple of couches, one video game and a ping pong table with no ball or paddle. So just a table, really. When we got there, we all froze at the sight of Bellamy doing something with said ping pong table – rebuilding it, I thought.

"What?" he grumbled, as the three of us just stood watching him, waiting for something to happen.

Murphy opened his mouth, but Emori slapped his arm and spoke before he could. "Hey, we were going to check out Raven's game, but if you need a hand…?"

Bellamy let out a grunt and turned back to the table. The rest of us figured that meant 'no' and sat down to figure out this game.

Between a few bugs in the game, Murphy not being able to drop the fact that Raven had based it on an old classic called _Space Invaders_ , and the competitive nature that the three of us shared, it wasn't a surprise that we got pretty loud while playing. What shouldn't have been a surprise – given his mood – was the noise getting to Bellamy to the point that he exploded on us.

"Will you shut the hell up!" he almost roared causing Emori and I to freeze at the sudden outburst.

Unfortunately, Murphy wasn't as affected. "Oh, float yourself, Bellamy."

"Excuse me?" the elder man spat.

"You heard," Murphy put down his controller and looked over his shoulder at Bellamy. "Just because you screwed Clarke doesn't give you the right to be a dick. Especially to her," he added.

Bellamy stopped whatever he was doing, pulled himself out from under the table and stared at Murphy with utter confusion. "What are you talking about Murphy?"

"Look," a protective glare - reminiscent of Bellamy's own when we first landed on the ground and Octavia was running wild – took over Murphy's features as he stood and squared up to Bellamy. "Whatever's going on between you and Clarke, it's between you guys and we don't want to get involved. But you and your bad attitude are making it everyone's problem, so here it is," Emori and I were kind of entranced. I'd never seen this side of Murphy before and I didn't know what to do with it. "We all know that you want more with Clarke, so whatever the fall out was after the trip to pound town… I get that you're disappointed, and I feel for you man, really. But Bellamy, it's her choice. If that's all Clarke wants, or she needs time or whatever… You don't get to be an asshole about it. So, you're gonna stop being a dick to everyone, give Clarke her space and then, when she wants to be in the same room as you again, you're gonna apologise for whatever you said or did to upset her. We clear?"

I tore my gaze from Murphy to see Bellamy's reaction and was met with complete befuddlement.

"You think I slept with Clarke?" Bellamy seemed to be trying to make sense of Murphy's whole speech. "Clarke's upset? And you think it's because we had sex? What gave you that idea?"

Now it as our turn to be confused, as Murphy glanced at us and back to Bellamy he asked, "Are you saying you didn't sleep together?"

 _Clarke_ _POV_

When I had finally finished engraving the fifth deck of cards, I gathered them up and dropped by the command centre to pick up the ping pong set Bellamy had been working on, as I was headed to the game room anyway. I was rummaging through the ever-present clutter on Bellamy's desk – looking for the paddles – when I found a hand drawn calendar.

"Oh hell," I muttered out loud, after scanning my eyes over it. "Bellamy… why can't you just tell me these things."

Now knowing the reason behind the bad mood Monty had mentioned, I abandoned my search and went looking for Bellamy – feeling like a bitch for not looking for him earlier. Finding his compartment empty and Raven alone in engineering, I headed for the game room.

"-you want more with Clarke," Murphy's voice echoed down the corridor and I paused. "So whatever the fall out was after the trip to pound town- "

 _What?!_ I crept forward and saw Murphy getting in Bellamy's face. Monty and Emori were just watching the two of them, shocked and deciding whether to intervene, from the look of things. And Bellamy, he was just confused. _What is he talking about?_

"-Bellamy, it's her choice. If that's all Clarke wants, or she needs time or whatever… You don't get to be an asshole about it." Despite not having a clue what he was going about, I felt a smile creep across my face at Murphy's protective streak showing. It was a far cry from the John Murphy who fell to Earth with us. ". So, you're gonna stop being a dick to everyone, give Clarke her space and then, when she wants to be in the same room as you again, you're gonna apologise for whatever you said or did to upset her. We clear?"

I quietly stepped into the room, still unnoticed, as Bellamy caught up with Murphy's train of thought, and Murphy finally realised that Bellamy had no idea what was going on.

"Are you saying you didn't sleep together?"

"No," I announced my presence, "we didn't. But it's good to know you care, Murphy. Who knew you could be so sweet?" I teased.

"Oh…" Emori broke the following silence, "Raven's going to be pissed."

I rolled my eyes, because of course that's where this ridiculousness came from.

"Wait," Monty found his voice. "If you guys didn't have sex then why were you upset?"

"I wasn't upset, Monty," I sighed. "I was just concentrating. How does me being upset equate to Bellamy and I having sex anyway?" I asked but immediately raised my hand, thinking better of it. "Actually, I don't want to know," I sighed. "I'm not upset and there was no sex," I reiterated and looked between the three conspiracy theorists to make sure the information sank in. "So, now that's cleared up, can I borrow Grumpy over there?" I gestured to Bellamy and nodded towards the door. "If one of you could shatter Raven's fantasy while we talk…?" I trailed off and walked out into the corridor, knowing Bellamy would follow.

"Hey," he spoke softly, catching my arm to stop me, once we were out of the others' earshot. "Are you really ok?" Bellamy asked, eyes searching me for any sign that something was wrong.

"Yes," I promised with a small smile. "But you're not. Bellamy…" I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck in a tight hug. "Why didn't you tell me it was Octavia's birthday?"

I felt him deflate and tighten his arms, which had instinctively wrapped around my waist. "I don't know," he admitted, "I guess I didn't expect it to hit me this hard." I pulled back just enough to see his face as he continued. "They wouldn't let me visit O in lock up, not even for her sixteenth birthday," he explained, "But I convinced a guy from my old cadet unit to pass her a message for me. It wasn't enough, but at least she knew she had someone. This year we don't even have that. It kind of feels like the first time I'm not with her on her birthday."

I cupped Bellamy's face, feeling his warmth seep into my cold palm, while I waited for him to meet my eyes once more. "It's strange to think that she's only now turning seventeen," I admit. "She seems so much older."

"I know," he let out a sad chuckle. "You know what's even stranger? When I realised Octavia's birthday was coming up, I worked out yours too." I blinked in surprise. "You turn nineteen next month. You still being a teenager is the strangest thought I've ever had," Bellamy chuckled.

"I know right," I laughed. "I certainly don't feel like it."

"I know," he tilted my chin up. "Just promise me one thing?" I raised an eyebrow in question. "When your birthday does come around, at least try to act your age. Enjoy yourself."

"Ok," I agreed, settling back into his chest. "But you have to promise me something too."

"Hmm?" I felt his hum rumble against my face.

"Your missing five of Octavia's birthdays up here, and that sucks. Promise me that you'll try to remember that in missing those you'll be able to spend the next fifty birthdays with her. Once we're back on the ground these five years will seem like nothing. It'll all be worth it."

Bellamy squeezed my waist in thanks. "I'll try"

We maintained our embrace for a moment more before pulling away and wordlessly agreeing to take a wander around the Ring.

"So, are we gonna talk about the fact that the other's think we're sleeping together?" Bellamy broke the silence once we neared the command centre.

"Do we need to?" I forced myself to meet his eyes, and ignored the nerves that his question ignited in my stomach.

Bellamy searched my face for something, the air still around us. "No," he finally spoke, so soft I could barely hear. "I guess we don't."


	5. Day 391

_**I swear I am trying to write some more lighthearted chapters... But when I start writing even funny ideas be come deep emotional chapters :/**_

 _ **Fun/Funny prompts are most definitely welcome!**_

 _ **Thank you to tvstatic, the guest reviewer, Sobee1982 and Seagull88 for your comments on the last chapter and for all the favourites/follows. I'm glad you're enjoying these little ramblings.**_

* * *

 _ **Contiguity**_

 _noun_

the state of bordering or being in contact with something.

PSYCHOLOGY

the sequential occurrence or proximity of stimulus and response

* * *

 **Day 391**

We'd all dealt with a pissed off Murphy before.

Even once he out grew his homicidal tendencies, he wasn't fun to be around when he was angry. But a sulking Murphy… I soon learned that he was either the biggest headache on or off Earth, or an infinite source of amusement. Depending on my mood.

The sulking began around the time Emori had her third lesson with Raven – apparently the grounder had shown some potential with the shuttle's simulator and the two women had agreed on an apprenticeship of sorts. When this started, Murphy was the perfect picture of a supportive boyfriend, but I think he soon started to feel a little discarded, and that went on for a while. On some level I knew that Murphy would probably need a pep talk of some sort, but Bellamy and I had just decided to ration the moonshine, which had left everyone a little pissy, and I couldn't be bothered to pander to Murphy's emotional growth as well.

So, when Bellamy and I were having one of our half-hearted arguments and an over grown toddler stomped into the command centre to collapse in my chair and pout… We really shouldn't have been surprised.

"…You ok, Murphy?" Bellamy greeted after a moment.

"Fine," our intruder grumbled. "Go back to whatever you were doing."

I looked at Bellamy questioningly as Murphy started going through my desk. He shrugged and casually walked over to check the security feed.

"Are you looking for anything in particular," I asked, pulling myself up onto the corner of my desk to get a better look at whatever Murphy was doing. "Or are you just invading my privacy for the hell of it?"

Murphy didn't even spare me a glance. "Probably the second," he confessed, as if there was nothing at all wrong with that. "Maybe a bit of both." He found a stack of my sketches in the top draw and pulled one of him chained up in Becca's lap, from near the top. "Wow Clarke. I don't know whether to be flattered or creeped out."

"Maybe a bit of both," I mocked, rolling my eyes. Feeling Bellamy's gaze on me, I glanced over and saw that he had pulled up the camera feed from the docking bay, where Raven and Emori were laughing together over the rocket's engine.

I let out a silent sigh. Murphy really was far too old to be getting jealous over Emori having friends. Part of me was still amused by the childish sulking, but this had been going on for months by that point. Something had to be done. I locked eyes with Bellamy and we had a silent argument, which ended with Bellamy raising an eyebrow as if to say, _You know he'll listen to you more than me._ With a small, reluctant nod, I agreed and began mentally debating how best to approach this conversation.

Before I'd decided, a feeling of weightlessness overtook me and the things on top of my desk knocked against my limbs as they – and I – began to float.

"The hell...?" I muttered, looking across the room to see Bellamy escaping his floating chair.

"You guys alright?" he asked, trying to steady himself in the air.

Murphy just lay back, as if this was perfectly normal, and continued to sulk. "Not particularly. It's not so fun invading Clarke's privacy when all of her things are floating around the room for anyone to see." He turned to me with a sharp smirk, "Hope you didn't have any naughty sketches in that collection."

"Shut up Murphy," I huffed. "Bellamy can you still see the security feed?"

"I got it," his reply was immediate, obviously having had the same thought. "The whole Ring is in zero G. Everything's a mess but it doesn't look like anyone's hurt. Or like anything important is broken."

"You mean other than the gravity field?"

We ignored Murphy.

"Where are the others?" I brushed random objects out of my way as I searched for the Ark's intercom.

"Monty's in engineering, looks like Raven and Emori are making their way there. Should we go meet them?"

"Yeah," Murphy cut off my reply and I turned to see him propelling himself into a corner after a bottle of whisky, "you guys should do that. I found what I came for."

"Damnit Murphy," I grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him back to the centre of the room. "Make yourself useful and help us find the microphone." I turned back to Bellamy, "There's no point in rushing over there when Raven might need us to do something here."

He nodded in agreement and the three of us began searching through the floating mess.

"Why'd the damn thing have to be wireless?" Bellamy muttered, echoing my thoughts.

"Calling Ark Station, this is Zero G Party," Murphy's voice rang out across the Ring. "Looks like somebody decided to fulfil her zero G sex fantasies. Question is: who's the lucky guy?" I could feel the annoyance rolling off Bellamy as Murphy bounced from wall to wall, keeping the microphone out of our reach. "My money's on you Mont- "

Bellamy's superior height won out and he snatched the mic away from Murphy with a look of mile disgust. "Monty, what's going on?"

" _The artificial gravity isn't working,"_ was Monty's sardonic reply. Bellamy met my eyes as he exhaled in frustration. We were all still getting used to this new, harsher side of our friend.

"Thank you, we got that much. We were kind of hoping for an explanation."

I glanced at the security feed (which was built into the centre console and thankfully bolted to the floor) and saw that Raven and Emori had stopped at one of the hall way speakers to patch in on the channel.

"Raven do you have any ideas?" I asked, seeing as all Bellamy was getting from Monty was cussing and stress.

" _We've probably lost power to the thrusters,"_ she explained. _"Monty, you need to check the relays. Clarke, you guys can run a diagnostic from Command, that will tell us if it's just a system failure or if I need to get outside and fix something manually."_

"No need to sound too excited," I muttered, loud enough for her to hear as I made my way back to the console. "Who knew it'd be so hard to type in zero G," I grumbled to myself as I started the diagnostic with one hand and gripped the edge of the console with the other, to keep from floating away. The smile in Bellamy's voice, as he started giving orders, told me that he'd heard and it was enough to put me at ease. Even with Monty listing all the much deadlier issues that could come with this 'Zero G Party.'

"You good?" Bellamy asked quietly, spinning me around to face him once he'd let go of the mic.

"Yeah," I smiled and went for a side hug which ended up with us just bumping into each other, laughing. "You should go down to engineering. I can handle things here."

Bellamy glanced at Murphy – who had once again found our whisky – and I nodded at his silent question. _I'll talk to him._

"Alright. Let us know what the diagnostic check comes back with."

Now alone with Murphy, I sighed and kicked off the side of Bellamy's desk, to propel myself in his direction. I took the whisky from his hand, replaced the cap and swallowed the liquor that had escaped the bottle before levelling Murphy with my best unimpressed glare.

"So, when are you going to sort your shit out?"

Murphy glanced up nonchalantly. "Which shit?" he shrugged. "In case you haven't noticed, we all have a whole lot of it."

I didn't raise to his baiting. "The whole you being jealous of Raven working with Emori thing that you're pretending we haven't noticed."

He just scoffed and turned back to the floating pile of junk he was messing with.

"Murphy," I spoke firmly but softened my voice when he turned back to me, clearly expecting a lecture. "You're not losing her," I promised.

I knew for all Murphy's talk and bad attitude, he was just a guy with some first-rate abandonment issues. Emori was the only person on this station who hadn't abandoned or cast Murphy out one way or another, but she going to be paying the price for it if I couldn't get through to him.

"Did you think that the six of us could spend years up here without coming to care about each other?"

"Well you guys never gave a damn about me, so why would I expect any different?" he snapped.

"That's crap and you know it." I was telling the truth, we all cared about Murphy, but I still felt a pang of guilt, remembering him locked up and pleading in Becca's lab. "Look at me," I shook his shoulders gently until he met my eyes. "We're family, Murphy. All six of us, and that's never going to change."

"That's just it though," Murphy looked down, swallowing thickly. "Clarke, now that she has all of you, how long until she realises that she doesn't need me?" He looked so lost in that moment… My arms twitched with the urge to pull him into a hug, but I knew Murphy would just see that as pity and shut down.

"She does need you," I assured him. "Murphy, just because new people come into our lives, doesn't mean we don't still need the ones who were already there. But right now… you acting like this whenever Emori gets close to one of us, you're just making her feel bad about wanting to be part of something outside of your relationship. How long do you think you can keep that up before you push her away?" he looked down, almost ashamed, as I finished. "That's the only way you're going to lose her."

He stared down at the papers swirling beneath our feet for a long minute before nodding and looking back up to me, familiar determination in his features. "Well I don't have to worry about that do I?" he insisted. "Not while I've got you to call me out for being a dick."

"Damn straight," I smiled and finally pulled him in for that hug. "Some more self-awareness from you wouldn't hurt though."

Murphy laughed and returned the hug. "No promises. But I will go apologise to Emori. You know, once we can walk on solid floors again."

"Baby steps I guess," I chuckled, pulling away.

The centre console started beeping – the system diagnostic had finished.

"Find the mic again for me?"

"You're the boss," Murphy agreed, pushing me towards the screens.

" _Hey Clarke,"_ Bellamy's voice sounded over the intercom. _"everything ok over there?"_

Murphy scoffed and rolled his eyes,

He knew Bellamy didn't just mean the gravity too.


	6. Day 317

_**Fun fact: This was one of the first chapters I wrote for this fic. I put off publishing it because I wan't some fun light-hearted chapters in between the heavy stuff. As I'm failing at 'fun and light-hearted' I figured I'd publish it anyway. You could probably do with a break from the Clarphy bromance stuff too so...**_

 _ **Thanks to BiaZor-El for the review and prompt - I'm working on it :)**_

 _ **Prompts for fun chapters still welcome.**_

* * *

 _ **Contiguity**_

 _noun_

the state of bordering or being in contact with something.

PSYCHOLOGY

the sequential occurrence or proximity of stimulus and response

* * *

 **Day 317**

"So," Raven started from beneath the control desk of the command centre, "are you gonna tell me what's going on?"

"I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be telling me that," I murmured, only half paying attention as I searched through the mess of Bellamy's work station to find the ration list we had made a few days earlier.

"Not with the computer, dumbass. With Bellamy."

I stopped, abandoning my search. "What's wrong with Bellamy?"

Raven climbed out from under the desk and levelled me with an unimpressed look. "You're a lot of things Clarke, dense isn't one of them," I rolled my eyes and helped pull her to her feet. "Thanks. Now, what's going on with you and Bellamy?"

"Nothing," I protested. "We're good, same as always. It doesn't matter how many innuendos you throw at us, it doesn't change the fact that nothing is going on between us."

"C'mon Clarke, you two get more touchy feely by the day," she insisted. "Every time I walk in the game room you guys are snuggled up on the couch together, this is the first time in over a week that I've seen one of you without the other, and," she paused dramatically, smug grin on her lips, "I saw the two of you last night." I froze, trying to keep my expression neutral, but I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. "You know you should really learn to shut the door, anyone could walk by and see you guys curled up in Bellamy's bed. It was adorable, really."

I huffed in frustration. "You're exaggerating. We were on the bed, not in it." Raven raised her eyebrows, clearly unimpressed with my semantics, but I pushed on anyway. "Because we were talking and then we fell asleep watching a movie. If anything more than that was going on, don't you think we _would_ have shut the door?"

"Hmm," Raven considered me for a moment, leaning back in her chair. "Ok, that makes sense I guess."

I relaxed, foolishly believing I was off the hook.

"So what's your excuse for the spooning?"

My head fell back as I let out a sigh of exasperation. "You're not giving this up are you?"

"Not until you admit the truth."

I resigned myself to this fate, and quickly thought of a way to appease my friend. "I'll make you a deal," I scanned the security feed; if I was going to do this, I had to make sure Bellamy wouldn't overhear us.

"What kind of deal?" Raven asked suspiciously.

I finally found him, entering the game room with Monty and joining Murphy and Emori in a round of cards. Satisfied that they would all be occupied for a while, I squared my shoulders and turned back to the gossipy mechanic.

"One conversation, full disclosure from me, then you drop this whole subject and stop with the comments every time Bellamy and I are in the same room. Deal?"

Raven grinned. "I can't promise to stop the teasing, but if you're confessing, I'll stop bugging you about it. Promise."

"Ok," I sighed and reached for the bottle of whisky Bellamy and I found when we first cleaned out the wreckage from the control room. "I'm gonna need a drink for this," I muttered as I collapsed into my seat. "Ask away."

"Well… Establishing the facts is a good place to start," Raven decided and swiped the bottle from me when it had barely left my lips. "Has anything ever happened between you guys?"

"No," I took the bottle back. At least she'd started off easy.

"Really? Nothing?" she demanded sceptically. "What's the closest to something that has happened? I'll decide if it was nothing."

I rolled my eyes but though through everything that had happened between Bellamy and I, for anything that could be interpreted as romantic. "After Mount Weather, when I said goodbye to Bellamy, I kissed him on the cheek. That was it, a platonic goodbye peck on the cheek between friends who had been through hell."

"Urgh," Raven groaned and I smirked at her disappointment.

"Fine, so nothing has happened, but have you ever wanted it to? Do you now?"

"You're asking if I'm attracted to him?" I clarified.

"Sure, we'll stick to the physical stuff for now."

I braced myself for the backlash that was sure to come, but I'd promised full disclosure and that's what she was going to get. "We both know Bellamy's far from ugly Raven, and we've been living in each other's pockets for over a year. So yes, there's an attraction there, and yes, I've thought about acting on it once or twice."

"So why haven't you?" all the teasing and innuendo was gone from Raven's voice, replaced with genuine curiosity.

"It's not worth the risk," I shrugged.

"Is that really what's holding you back?" she asked, surprised. "Fear?"

I considered this for a moment, before deciding to skip straight to what Raven really wanted to know. "Look, what I feel for Bellamy… It's probably the strongest thing I've ever felt for anyone. When my Mom told ALIE to torture him to get to me in Polis, I was terrified that I would break and get us all killed, but when she put the noose around her own neck I didn't waver once." I took another mouthful of liquor, not analysing what that admission said about me. "Back when the dropship was under attack I shut the door and left Bellamy out there to die. It was the right thing to do. It saved the rest of us and I don't regret it, but I'm not sure I could do the same thing today. I can't be pragmatic when it's Bellamy's life on the line because I need him too much.

"So yeah, I feel something for him. I'd even go so far as to say I love him, but I don't know if it's romantic love, or even if I want it to be. And I don't know what he wants either. Until I do, I'm not going to risk everything we have by sleeping with him when there's a chance of us not being on the same page afterwards. Even if we are and we decide to get together, only for us to fall apart a few months later, it's not worth it." I nodded slightly when I finished, somehow glad to have let that out.

"Sounds like you're over thinking things to me," Raven pointed out.

I laughed humourlessly. "Yeah, I probably am," I agreed. "But like I said, I don't know if I want it to be like that with Bellamy. All I know for sure is that I need him. I'm better with him, we're both better together. I couldn't have survived everything we've been through without him. I don't know what's coming next for us, but I know that I'm a better person – and leader – with him by my side."

Raven was quiet for a long time, considering everything I'd said while I just realised what a weight keeping all of this in had been, now that I had let it out.

"That sounds like soulmates to me," Raven whispered, softly.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I guess it does. But I don't believe that soulmates always have to be lovers. Just that they're supposed to be together in whatever way works best for them."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, just thinking over everything that had been said. Was Raven right? Was I overthinking everything out of fear that I might lose Bellamy if we tried to be something more? Before I could decide, the door opening behind us startled me out of my thoughts.

"Hey Clarke," Bellamy greeted with a lopsided grin across his face, "I just found something that you're probably gonna want to claim before Emori does and makes you trade your rations for it."

Bellamy's smile was infectious, so I let him pull me to my feet and followed him out of the control room, to see what this mystery treasure was.

"Clarke," Raven called me back and pulled me into a hug, as an excuse to whisper in my ear. "If you ever do decide you want something more with Bellamy, you don't have to be afraid of losing him," she assured me. "Even if you don't make it as a couple, you guys are too strong to let something like that break you. You'll always find your way back to each other."

I tightened my embrace slightly in thanks, before pulling away with a smile, and following Bellamy out of the room.


End file.
